The end

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Four years ago next week, I launched a stupid thing that was only meant to push up my resume. Something that would look good on a CV. My Favourite Game was the creation of my idiotic self. It was in a sense a means to an end. It was meant to be a one season deal and that was it.

But as I went further and further into Season 1, I realised there was the potential of something special here. So My Favourite Game became more of a stupid side-project to something full-blown in its own right. And what it has been is nothing short of something I am something I am proud of.

You’ll have noticed that there’ve been no new episodes since the Season 5 premiere back in March with Fullbright’s Steve Gaynor on Resident Evil 4. We’ve even advertised other episodes with other folks. So what’s been the holdup?

The short story is: I’m done. My Favourite Game is done.

But the longer story is this.

After doing four years of this, I’ve just sort of lost interest in making and publishing any more episodes on top of god knows how many mental health battles I’ve had over the past two years. I’ve tried fighting as long as I could, but I just no longer have the energy and enthusiasm to continue with the show. Producing the show is a tedium I can’t really deal with any more. It’s a process I’ve just not got it in me to deal with. This is definitely not a guest thing, to be clear, but a me thing.

The only time of year I found myself wanting to hop back into the chair was the end of year specials which I absolutely loved doing. But the truth is I was able to produce Steve’s episode off the back of any energy left off of that.

And to be honest, if I don’t have the energy, passion and enthusiasm to do something anymore, is it worth doing? And as it turns out, after a few months of pondering post-E3, the answer is no.

But there’s also another reason for why I’m ending it.

I now have a semi-regular freelance role at GameDaily.Biz that I’d like to majorly focus on. And I did say when I started this that if there ever came a time where my writing demanded more of my attention, I would focus that over the show.

The folks at GameDaily.Biz, Amanda and James, plus our small team of Avengers-like news writers are some of the most passionate, hardworking and enthusiastic people I’ve seen in the nine years I’ve written about games on a professional level. I can’t say enough good things about being part of that website.

The only thing I regret is that after realising that I was done with the show, I didn’t post this sooner. But with things getting busy for me and other life distractions, it’s only now I’m getting a chance to do it. But I still apologise for announcing this now rather than earlier.

So what’s going to happen to the episodes already recorded that haven’t been posted?

They will be produced and published. When I feel I am able to.

There’s some worthwhile stuff to them that would be a fucking travesty to have kept behind closed doors. So I will put them out when I have the time and if I’m able to fight the energy and enthusiasm to do them. When these episodes come out, if I had to put even the slightest ballpark on them, it’ll likely be 2019. But again, if I have the energy to do it.

And as for the website, the RSS feeds, the YouTube channel, those will stay up indefinitely. So those will be staying around for a good, good while yet.

Four years ago, I started this show and in making it, it’s changed a lot of how I perceive games and how I look at a lot of my own work both within the show and outside. It’s genuinely changed aspects of myself as a person. And I am quite proud of those things more than any other achievements the show has gotten over the past four years.

To anyone who has listened to the show, you have my eternal thanks for listening, especially considering it was meant to be a one-and-done thing. To everyone who has been part of the show, I can’t thank you enough for your time and passion talking of your favourite game. Whether it was getting recording three episodes in one day or finishing up recording an episode at 5:30am, I loved talking with you all in one form or another And to those behind the scenes who’ve given me gentle encouragement, advice and other things, the gratitude I have for you is something I can’t find words for. But I hope thank you is a start.

For now, I’m signing off. Until next week (or whenever the next time is), bye bye.

Johnny Cullen
Creative Producer/Host, My Favourite Game